What You Need To Know About the Law of Choices
It’s not about perfection — it’s about presence
As originally published in Change Your Mind Change Your Life on Medium.com.
Image: Caleb Jones on Unsplash
I’m currently reading Dan Millman’s “The Laws of Spirit”, in which he talks about the law of choices. It made me think more about how every choice we make shapes our future, and how these decisions — not luck, timing, or circumstance — are the real architects of our lives.
The Power of Saying NoOne sentence in particular hit home for me: “Unless you realise you have the power to say no, you can never truly say yes — to anything.” Without boundaries, our “yes” is often rooted in obligation, fear, or guilt — not desire or intention.
When I think back to all the difficult situations in my life, they were all a result of not having boundaries. And having boundaries doesn’t mean telling others what our boundaries are, though that can be important at times, too. Having boundaries means living in line with our core values — always. Because if we stand for nothing, we fall for everything. And as hard as it is to admit, this was my life for the longest time.
In the past, I would have told anyone that one of my core values was respect. But every time an ex-boyfriend would disrespect me, I’d excuse it, downplay it, or downright ignore it. Because subconsciously, I feared being alone. My ex-boyfriends didn’t cross my boundaries by disrespecting me. They were just showing me who they really are. I crossed my boundaries by accepting their behaviour, by staying.
Without saying no to them, I could never say yes to myself. True freedom starts when we acknowledge that our choices matter and that we are never as powerless as we think.
Every Choice Has a ConsequenceEvery action and inaction has consequences. From the smallest habits to life-changing decisions, our current reality is a reflection of choices made over time. Our willingness to accept these consequences gives us the freedom to choose who we are, where we are, and what we will do.
I chose to stay in unhealthy relationships. So many subconscious forces were at play, but I still chose. And the consequences were dire — physical, mental and emotional, financial, and time. So much time.
This isn’t about regret or shame, because what happened to us is not our fault. But it is our responsibility to do something about it if we want something different. Making choices is about awareness.
When we shift from unconscious reaction to conscious creation, life stops being an obligation and becomes an opportunity.
Choosing With Intention Means Choosing With SacrificePeople often want everything at once — success, balance, comfort, growth — but real progress involves prioritisation. Choice means giving up something we want for something we want more.
This is the foundation of intentional living. Whether it’s waking up earlier to go to the gym or ending a relationship that no longer serves us, choosing aligned action over short-term comfort creates long-term fulfilment.
Walking away from relationships is rarely comfortable. I felt broken and lost for a long time. But whilst I was alone, for the first time in many years, I no longer felt lonely. And the peace that came with that allowed me to move towards a life and relationships that are aligned with my values.
Actions Speak Louder Than WordsDecisions are not made with words, but with actions. We may say we want change, but unless our actions reflect that intention, we haven’t chosen it. What we do consistently reveals our true priorities. Our habits, routines, and decisions reflect what we’ve committed to — intentionally or not.
My all-time favourite quote that I consciously try to live by every day is:
“Where are you? Here. What time is it? Now. Who are you? This moment.”
— Dan Millman
It’s not about perfection — it’s about presence. The moment we become conscious of our power to choose, we begin to create a life that reflects who we really are.
Wherever you are in your journey, always remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
